Sunday, March 11, 2012

Super Powers

The following conversation may or may not have taken place.

Me: "I need a super power."

Bill: "Why do you need a super power?"

Me: "So I can get things done."

Bill: "Is there a 'get things done' super power?"

Me: "Maybe. I'm not sure if it's catalogued in the League of Super Heroes. But if it is, I want it."

Bill: "Uh huh."

Me: "It would be awesome if I could just stare at someone or something and stuff would happen...or stop happening. It depends on what I need."

Silence.

Me: "You know, like staring at someone until they bring me coffee. Or staring at the annoying loud talker until they are quiet. Or staring at Scarlett so she will put whatever pointy-sharp-thing-she-shouldn't-have down."

Bill: "I see. Does this super power come with a costume?"

Me: "I don't know. For sure it comes with really cool glasses. So you can give a really good stare-down over the rim."

Bill: "Interesting."

Me: "You know what other super power I want?"

Bill: "I have no idea."

Me: "The power of sleep."

Bill: "That sounds like a boring super power."

Me: "Not really. I would be able to make you go to sleep whenever I wanted. More importantly, I would be able to go the sleep whenever I wanted. Especially on those insomnia nights. And Scarlett would never wake up before 7."

Bill: "Right."

Me: "You don't seem really supportive of my super powers."

Bill: "Well you're not exactly talking about Wonder Twin powers. Maybe you should just go to sleep and get your own stuff done."

Silence.

Bill: "Why are you staring at me?"

Me: "I'm practicing."

I have a pretty hellacious few weeks coming straight at me. Bill is out of town, I've got midterms, and major projects at work. There are days when it would be handy to have a super power or two in my pocket. Like the power of cooperation, the power of being two places at once, the power of making laundry disappear.

Unfortunately, I have none of these super powers, so it's going to be all up to this mortal to get it done.

5 comments:

  1. good luck with your long and tiring week{s}
    i hope you get it all done!
    thank the Lord for starbucks!!

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  2. heather, aka prettyneatoMarch 12, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    Awesome super powers. I like the stare, I often practice it overtop of my glasses and it works with my preteen!

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  3. Thanks, Aleks! Starbucks will make a fortune off of me this week.

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  4. Heather, I wish it worked for just about everyone I know! LOL

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  5. I think the non-verbal communication super power is awesome and I'm making you a cape and wristbands. Every super hero has to have wrist bands. Do you want the giant eyeball on your cape to have blue or green eyes?

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